Does it ever feel like you're a completely different person compared to the one you used to be? Ever feel grateful that you grew up and matured and became less of a weirdo?
Ever just look into your old comments and descriptions and just cringe at how awful they all sounded? How they make you come off like a complete idiot and a wannabe and like some clingy, attention seeking fangirl? Boy, do i feel like that. I just feel so bad for the people who had to interact with that version of me, im so relieved that iv'e grown out of that shell and moved on. I just wish i could apologise to all those people who i feel like iv'e left a bad impression on. I feel so embarrassed of the old me, and so guilty and ashamed. I just want to change that impression of me so badly. The younger, inexperienced and dimwitted me. The one who had no idea how to talk to people and would say the most awkward and jarring of things, god am i glad that version of me is gone. But i can at least understand why that old me was like that, she just wanted to be liked. She thought acting 'cool' and saying 'cool' things would get people to. I dont know how true that is, i could be misinterpreting
uhhhhh, i dont know where all of this is really coming from XD sorry for sounding so melodramatic , im not really one for such things but this feeling of embarrassment and shame of how i was when i was younger has just been building and i just want to write it out. To those who've known me for years, hehe sorry about the old me sorry about the way she talked and acted, i hope she didn't offend, or bother you. I feel like she did, because she was young and wanted the attention of others to feel like she was apart of something.......huh, it's weird. I only now realise how lonely my younger self was. I never really noticed. Oh god, i should really end this pointless rambling |D i feel like im just spewing disjointed words now. I guess what im saying is that, i wish the people i met on the internet, and have known for years didn't meet my younger self. I wish they could of known the me i am today. Wish i could go back in time and introduce myself through the person i am now, wish i could go and rewrite all my descriptions and rewrite my comments *sigh*
well, theres no point complaining about what could of been, please forgive this.....rambling? Venting? I dont know what to call it XD i doubt ill do something like this again, again im not really a moapy person. I really dont know why im writing this, i dont know who im even writing this too. Doubt anyone is really gonna read it, but i guess it just feels nice to write this out and have that small bit of hope that the people i am referring to get that im talking to them and read this, so that they can know im sorry for being so weird and thank them for putting up with me, and never making me feel like i was off-putting or odd.